Why I am not doing the whole “new year, new me”. I find the whole new year new you narrative frustrating and at times quite triggering. Every January the message is loud and relentless. Become someone else. “New year, new you.” Eat differently. Behave differently. Look differently. For many people this creates motivation. For others it creates pressure, shame and a sense of never being enough. Why? Why can’t we just be ourselves? Why can’t we work towards being the best versi

Have you ever stopped to think about how long you’ve really been away from home? I realised recently that in just a few years, I’ll have lived in the UK longer than I ever lived in Brazil. That thought caught me by surprise. I can still picture my first flight here like it was yesterday. It was my first time leaving Brazil, and I knew my life was about to change in ways I couldn’t yet imagine. For the most part, I’ve really enjoyed living in the UK. I’ve loved discovering a

Talking about sex isn’t always easy. In fact, for many people, it’s one of the hardest things to open up about - even with the person they’re sharing a bed or life with. As a psychosexual therapist, I’ve worked with individuals and couples who have felt confused, anxious, disconnected, or ashamed when it comes to intimacy. And I want you to know: you’re not alone, and these challenges are more common than most people realise. Psychosexual therapy (also known as sex therapy) i

Relationships are at the core of our well-being—whether they’re romantic, familial, or friendships. They shape how we see ourselves, how we experience intimacy, and how we navigate the world. Yet, despite their significance, relationships can also be one of the biggest sources of frustration and emotional pain. As a therapist specialising in relationships, intimacy and sexuality, I’ve seen firsthand how the same challenges come up again and again. While every relationship is

In my spare time, I indulge in what I call “trash TV,” and one show I’ve followed for a while is Married at First Sight – both the Australian and UK versions. As a therapist working with individuals and couples, I find the relationship dynamics interesting. Still, this season has left me uneasy, and I stopped watching a couple of weeks ago. The behaviours the show’s experts encourage, especially around consent and communication, are troubling. The Problem with Pushing Boundar

In a world dominated by social media and constant connectivity, it's all too easy to get caught up in the web of other people's perceptions. The truth is, what people think of you is none of your business. Your self-worth should never be tethered to the opinions of others. One of the pitfalls many fall into is the dangerous cycle of people-pleasing. Constantly seeking approval and validation from others can be an exhausting and ineffective attempt. The reality is that no matt

What is Disappointment? Experiencing disappointment can be crushing. Experts describe it as a type of sadness, but it can feel like a sudden loss of energy, an unexpected emptiness of everything. Like popping a balloon. Sometimes it can make you feel sad and betrayed. Or even letdown and angry. It’s a whole host of emotions wrapped around a situation where the outcome wasn’t what you hoped, expected or needed it to be. Feeling disappointed is an uncomfortable experience. It i

This short yet powerful phrase is very popular and often repeated but following it can be easier said than done. From a very young age, many of us were taught how to lie - to our teachers, friends, and the people we love the most. In 'Healing the shame that binds you', John Bradshaw beautifully explains this in more detail. We quickly learnt to say we were ok when we weren’t. We were told to smile when we were sad and to ‘shake it off’ when something seen as small in the eyes

As the end of the year approaches, I have started reflecting on the last twelve months… which, at times, felt like six months because of how quickly it flew by. And other times, like 24 months, because of how much happened. This time last year, I was telling friends and family that I was moving to Portugal. Half of the year was spent preparing for the move and a few months working out how we would return. Well, here I am. Back in the same country, but somehow, things feel dif

I love writing and have always done. I remember having a journal from a very young age – those with a little lock and key, hoping my secrets would be safe. When I created my website, I was told creating a blog would be a really good way to attract people to it (algorithms and all that), but I found it hard to write knowing that other people would be reading it too (I know, that's the point). I wasn’t sure how I would write without sharing parts of me. I wrote a few posts, one

Encanto turned out to be one of my favourite Disney movies so I have decided to write about why I liked the movie so much so here you go. 1) Representation – it is great to see people of colour being the main characters in movies. It is important for children (as well as adults) to feel represented. It helps us to understand (and feel) that we all have a place in the world. A good one. Look at this beautiful picture of two-year-old Kenzo. Credit: @katchingupwithkenzo on Insta

Obstacles individuals may face when considering seeking help with mental health issues