Living abroad: gratitude, longing, and the search for where home truly is

Have you ever stopped to think about how long you’ve really been away from home?

I realised recently that in just a few years, I’ll have lived in the UK longer than I ever lived in Brazil. That thought caught me by surprise.

I can still picture my first flight here like it was yesterday. It was my first time leaving Brazil, and I knew my life was about to change in ways I couldn’t yet imagine.

For the most part, I’ve really enjoyed living in the UK. I’ve loved discovering a culture so different from my own. From the weather and food, to the way people connect - Brazilians tend to open up quickly, while here friendships often take longer to form. Both have shaped me in meaningful ways.

I’ve met incredible people along the way, though sometimes I miss the friendships I never got to grow… those from school, university, or early jobs back home. At first, I kept the connections going with weekly emails, but as life moved on, those messages became fewer. Friendships need presence, and distance makes that hard.

I’ve been lucky that two of my best friends later moved to Europe. Meeting up takes planning and effort, but we always find a way to make it happen. When we’re together, it feels as though no time has passed; the comfort and ease between us is still there. Those reunions remind me just how special it is to have people in your life with whom you can simply be yourself.

Here in the UK, I’ve also built new friendships. Some are close, others more distant, but all matter. And with the internet, we can share life in ways that weren’t possible two decades ago.

Still, there are days when the distance hits hard. I miss my mum and sister deeply. I miss the family BBQs at my nan’s house, the familiar sounds of home, the food, the music, the language. Time has changed things, some loved ones have passed, others have taken different paths… but the longing remains. There are still so many places in Brazil I want to see again.

Holding Both Worlds

What I’ve come to realise is this: it’s possible to hold both. I can be grateful for the life I’ve built here, with family, opportunities, and friendships—while still missing the life I might have had in Brazil. One doesn’t cancel out the other.

When people ask me where home is, I never have a simple answer. Sometimes I feel it strongly in Brazil, on other days here in the UK, and often it feels like both at the same time. Living abroad has taught me that home isn’t always a clear place you can point to. Sometimes it’s where you are, sometimes it’s where you long to be, and sometimes it’s the space in between.

Hello, I am Rose! A qualified Counsellor and Psychosexual Therapist working with individuals and couples. If you want to learn more about me and my work, have a look at my website.

I would love to hear from you!