“New year, new you”… No, thank you.

Why I am not doing the whole “new year, new me”.

I find the whole new year new you narrative frustrating and at times quite triggering.

Every January the message is loud and relentless. Become someone else. “New year, new you.”

Eat differently. Behave differently. Look differently. For many people this creates motivation. For others it creates pressure, shame and a sense of never being enough.

Why? Why can’t we just be ourselves? Why can’t we work towards being the best version of ourselves rather than becoming something completely different?

This narrative thrives on dissatisfaction. It depends on us believing that who we are is not enough. That our bodies need managing. That rest must be earned. That self-worth is conditional.

I am not interested in fixing myself to fit a culture that benefits from self-doubt.

I do not think we should aim to be someone else nor engage in a whole new way of life simply because the calendar changed. And the truth is that much of this messaging is not aimed at people with deeply damaging patterns who are unlikely to change. It is aimed at people like me and maybe like you. People who are already reflecting. Already working on themselves. Already asking ‘am I too much or not enough’.

I get tired of how different media outlets so often reinforce the idea that we are not good enough. That who we are now is somehow a problem to fix. Yes, we could all eat a little healthier and move our bodies more. But we are human. We are tired. We are living full and complex lives.

I have been in that place of idealising a new version of myself in the new year. A better one. A more disciplined one. A calmer one. And while it has been years since this was my conscious goal I can still sense something shifting.

I am still affected by the high expectations we place on ourselves. After all I am a work in progress. I notice the pull to do more and be more and get it right. But I am beginning to see a change. My focus is slowly moving away from trying to be what other people expect me to be and towards allowing myself to be me.

That does not mean I stop growing or reflecting or changing. It means I am trying to relate to myself differently. I am trying to choose curiosity over criticism. Compassion over pressure. Not perfectly. Just more often.

Rather than reinventing myself I want to get to know myself better. I want to understand my needs. My limits. My patterns. I want to be kinder to myself especially in the places where I struggle. I want to stop treating myself in ways I would never treat a friend.

This year my intention is not transformation. It is relationship. A deeper relationship with myself.

I want to love myself more. Not a polished version. Not a future version. This one. Imperfect. Human. At times messy and at times a bit dysfunctional.

I want to offer myself the same warmth and patience that I offer those I care about. I want to respect my body rather than constantly negotiating with it. I want to look after myself not as a project but as a person.

So no new me this year.

Just more honesty. More gentleness. More permission to be who I already am while I continue to grow. And that feels like enough.

Happy New Year!

Take care,

Rose

Hello, I am Rose! A qualified Counsellor and Psychosexual Therapist working with individuals and couples. If you want to learn more about me and my work, have a look at my website.

I would love to hear from you!